Of Gifts and Christmas

Who does not like to receive gifts? Kids, especially, think it the best thing about Christmas. As adults, the picture becomes more nuanced. If it is gifts from the family, I’m paying for them anyway. So what’s the point? Did they spend too much? It’s the thought that counts, supposedly. And what if they got the wrong thing? I can’t be seen to not like it. If it is from others, it could be too nice, in which case I will look bad when they open my gift, or it could be too cheap, showing they don’t really care. Even kids too often don’t like their gifts and they don’t mind letting you know as loudly as they can. Why is it so complicated? This year I would rather do without gifts at all. I told my family and they did not take very well to it. They informed me they are going to buy me something (with my money), whether I like it or not. What am I to do?

In Greek we call a Christmas and another gift a “Doro”, as in Dorothy (Gift of God) or Theodore (God’s gift). Two names for the same thing. Wow. Some say it comes from Dorians, an ancient Greek race. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts? I don’t like gifts.

As a kid in Greece I remember another type of gift, what we called “charisma”. Say you borrowed a pen to write something. You liked it and said so as you were giving it back. He said “keep it. It’s a charisma (gift)”. Unexpected, but nice. Or you borrowed $1 from a friend to buy candy (quite a lot, back then). Time to repay? He would say “no need to repay, consider it a gift (charisma)”. Always a surprise. Always unexpected. Always something you saw, something you liked, something you picked, you can keep for free. Nice. No need to reciprocate. Just keep it. He can easily do without it. It’s yours, just because.

Or maybe your friend was filthy rich and you were oogling his Lamborghini. “Keep it, charisma”. Wow. Fantasy world, of course. But what if even a Lamborghini was OK as a charisma? What if you friend was fabulously rich? Vacation chateau home in France? Charisma. Private jet with a masseuse and a slave with a ostrich feather fan to fan you in case you get too hot? No problem. It’s yours, keep it. Charisma. Largest house in town? Charisma. Private limousine with driver the rest of your life. Charisma. Five course meals from renown French chef the rest of your life? Charisma. All with 0 calories? Charisma. Every dream come true? Charisma. I can get used to that very quickly.

English does not have a good translation for charisma. Too bad. It’s such a great concept. Maybe it’s because Greeks are more generous. For a lack of a better word, the English translation for charisma or charis, in ancient Greek is “grace”. Yup, “grace”. The same grace you find in the Bible so many times. Sometimes charisma is translated “gift” as “spiritual gift”. So much is missed in the translation. Imagine that.

So, I do have the richest friend in the world. His name is Jesus, with his (and my) great daddy, God. So, that Lamborghini? Charisma. Grace. Chateau in France? Grace. Jet with masseuse and slave? Grace. Private limo? Grace. Five course meals? Grace.

Actually, I don’t really want any of those things. They are just gimmicks and I know I would tire of them quickly. Definitely within 45 years. Here is what I really want. All my screw ups and their consequences gone forever? Charisma. Grace. Tefton future so none of my future screw ups stick? Grace. All my needs met abundantly? Grace. Healing of my body and soul? Grace. Fire burning inside of me? Grace. To be surrounded by love and adoration? Grace. To be favored above all, the doting object of love? Grace. Knowing that I have eternal life? Grace.

How much would you give for these gifts? I would give everything. I would give my whole entire self. Why would not everyone? It’s worth it.

You hear lots of ignorant trash talk about grace. “You have to earn it.” Nonsense. It’s free, surprising, unexpected, just because. Nothing expected back. Just keep it. I hope you enjoy it. And I hope you like me more for it. “You have to reciprocate”. Absolutely not. You can take it and walk away forever. “You should show gratitude”. Nope. This is not a gift. There are no strings attached. No need to reciprocate. No need to keep track, match it, balance it, moral obligation. None of that. Just a freebie. Just for you.

I know. I’m Greek. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.